Sex Column: Spank Me…Harder

Sex is a
passionate process. You may start by tenderly kissing your partner. Then you might feel them up
with a gentle touch that makes their skin quiver. After that you could
undress each other, teasing one another as every article of clothing slides off
your bodies. You go through the erotic affair of foreplay and enter the land of
sexual euphoria. Then, perhaps, you flip over your partner, handcuff them to the bed,
bust out your trusty whip, and what does your partner say? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
whips and chains excite me. So tie me up and spank me hard and show me that you
like me.”

Bet that caught
you off guard, huh? BDSM (Bondage/Discipline,
Dominance/Submission, and SadoMasochism) is not the first thing we think of when we think about
passionate sex. However, for those who partake in it, BDSM is a passionate element
of their sexual experience. BDSM is the consensual relationship act that often involves restraint, intense sensory stimulation and fantasy power role play. BDSM is
vast and there is no one way to do it. Some forms of BDSM involve pain, while
others don’t. Some participants enjoy more permanent roles and others will switch off to get the best of
both worlds. However, despite common misconceptions, those who find BDSM
stimulating are not involved against their own will: it is completely

So before I
continue, let me slap some BDSM lingo on ya. Tops are the ones inflicting the pain or performing the degrading
activity. Bottoms play the role often
associated with submission. However, the bottom can actively voice what they
want done to them, in which case the top will be service topping. A switch
is someone who switches between the roles. Often the acts of BDSM are referred
to as play and a role play is
referred to as a scene.

BDSM offers
a vast menu of actions to choose from and luckily, beginners are always welcome.
You can bind your partner to the bed. You can be whipped. Your partner can drip
candle wax on you. You can gag your partner. You can put your partner on a
leash. You can even be the naughty student and your partner can be the sexy
professor. There is always something to do in BDSM!

Many may ask, “Why do people do BDSM?” To be honest, they do
it because they like it. Some just love the thought of their partner strapped up
in a leather vest cracking a whip. Others can’t wait to tie their partner up
and have their way with them. For some pain is pleasure, so they want you to
make them shed tears.

So whether
BDSM is a regular part of your sexual repertoire or you’re curious about buying
your first pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs, everyone can partake in BDSM. Despite
what society may say, consensual BDSM is not sick or demeaning. An important part of BDSM
is consent and predetermining who plays what role and to what extent. Real BDSM
is always consensual and pleasurable. If you’re missing out on either of these,
you’re doing it wrong. So go ahead. Let your partner tie you up. Feel free to
snap on some sexy leather. Play doctor. You never know – you might be the
next BDSM fanatic.

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