I live in an off-campus apartment
with a handsome, young cat. I sat down to polish off some homework the other day but found myself frequently interrupted by plaintive mewing and a furry bottom sprawled across my keyboard.
a while I started to get rather frustrated by the distraction, and I stared at him
in wonder, trying to figure out exactly why he felt compelled to make my life so difficult.
noticed he seemed energetically pent-up, oddly reminiscent of me when I haven’t gotten
any action in a while. In the hustle and bustle of fall semester, I guess I’ve forgotten to spend quality time with my kitty.
a common slang term for both cats and vulvas exists for a reason. They do share more
similarities than it may seem upon first glance.
instance, my cat likes to be teased before we actually start
playing, just like a vulva. Dangling brightly colored toys in front of him drives him wild, and nothing gets him more riled up than watching them being dragged around the room, always just out of arm’s reach.
person with a vulva may similarly enjoy some non-sexual affection before genitals
are engaged at all. Caressing, rubbing, kissing and sucking on other
less-fetishized body parts (inner arm, anyone?) will build excitement and allow the recipient
to savor the more traditionally sexual attention.
slower introduction to sexy fun will also show your partner(s) that you care
about creating an experience for them. Putting on a tantalizing show can even be fun, and it builds excitement for the playtime that beckons.
I pet my cat, I start off slow and soft. I don’t focus on one area but move
around and wait for feedback to understand the spots that he really wants
attention paid to on that particular day.
gradually add more pressure and occasionally speed up when I find the areas that
result in the most positive feedback. I change the patterns of petting one spot
as many times as I can.
like different vulvas may crave attention from a vibrator, a finger, a tongue,
lips, a palm, a knuckle or different textures like cool glass or
soft fur, my cat doesn’t want to be stroked with just my flat, open hand. He likes it when I nuzzle against him with the tip of my nose, my individual fingers, my
calves, toes or wrists. Some cats like to run fast around a room, while others prefer to stay relatively still. The only way to figure out what works in each situation is to ask and pay attention to verbal or physical feedback.
like cats, every vulva responds to its own preferred stimulus. They have their preferred speeds and methods.
my cat enjoys what I’m doing, he’ll rub up against me, purr and wag his tail.
Some vulvas may give visible feedback as well. Some signs of pleasure include
vaginal lubrication, reddening of the skin—sometimes on the entire body,
sometimes just the stimulated parts—and a swelling of the labia that looks
as if the vulva is blossoming like a flower.
you give pleasure often enough, tease before you dive in, offer the right kind
of stimulation and change up the type of stimulus you give, you are on track
to a happy vulva. However what is ‘right’ is very subjective, so asking
questions and paying attention to feedback are of clitical importance.
it Sex Pawsitive,
“Connie Lingus” PZ ’16 is a psychology and sociology major. Her sexual orientation? Queer, kinky and polyamorous.