When visiting some close friends from high
school recently, I encountered a problem that I hadn’t since coming to college: There
was nowhere to have sex.
Granted, this time it wasn’t because parents were
lurking in the kitchen, and there was no fear that younger siblings might make a
surprise entrance. However, with several housemates in a small space, it was a
Could I have waited for a more opportune time to have sex?
Probably. Is it ever a good idea to get it on during someone else’s house
party? Definitely not, but I did it anyway, and can now confidently say that I
more than understand the appeal of having sex in public places.
My partner and I had been on and off for several months and, as we only see each other several times a year, we decided to seize the opportunity. We found our way to the laundry room, which was located under the stairs, away from the heart of the party. The
thrill of having sex (which was great, by the way) on top of a washing machine while the sounds of heels dancing on the wood floor and distorted electronic dance music came through
the ceiling was intoxicating, and I realized that sex in public or other unconventional
places doesn’t necessarily need to be a consequence of a lack of space.
The fear of getting caught is a popular kink for many, and
while it can make some feel understandably anxious, those butterflies can
exacerbate the urgency for sex, and cause a feeling of heightened desire for
your partner. While it is obviously not a good idea to have sex where public
indecency laws might come into play (that would be an embarrassing charge to
have on your record), there are ways to be risky without putting
yourself directly in harm’s way. After all, if calling a cab from an off-campus
party to get laid in a squeaky dorm bed is unnecessary, why not take things to
the bathroom counter instead? If you can have fun sex and still be the last one
to leave the party, why not have your cake when you can eat it, too?
The key, and added thrill to semipublic sex, is keeping it
a secret. If one person goes to the bathroom and the other counts to 20 before knocking, it would be less obvious than if both people were to go in
together. The same goes for laundry rooms, garages, the back seats of cars, and
even the shadows of a back yard. Making it quick is also important—this probably won’t be the best sex of your life, but it will be fun! You can
think of it as foreplay for when you make your way back to an actual bed.
Positioning yourself in such a way that you can quickly put
clothes back on is crucial in case someone walks in on you. One partner sitting on a
counter while the other stands or kneels is great for oral sex and penetrative
sex as well. If height is an issue, standing while bending over and leaning on a
surface or using a wall as support is a good option.
Of course, the most important thing to remember is to be
safe! If this is something you are interested in trying, make sure you have the
consent of your partner before and during your experience. And be sure to
have the protection you need. Carrying dental dams and condoms in purses and
wallets doesn’t preserve them well long-term, but making sure you are prepared
for a spontaneous encounter should you and your partner want to experiment is a
Public sex isn’t for everyone, and for many, the fear of getting caught
is just that: a fear. So if you’re feeling bold, enjoy experimenting
consensually with this kink!
Ask me your sex/relationship questions for upcoming
columns at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/YM3SGXV.