For this week’s article, former TSL sex columnist and sexpert extraordinaire, Tasty Temptations, joins us in answering our latest question.
Dear Tippy and Tasty,
Why can I never find girls who are willing to do anal but all my friends can? Am I unconsciously attracted to girls that hate buttsex?
Dear Rectally Challenged,
First of all, not to doubt the moral integrity of your friends, but remember that it’s always possible that they could be making some of their sexploits up. So, if the main reason you want to have anal sex is you want to keep up with your friends, don’t be too concerned. (Or just make up your own stories!) But, if we’ve misjudged you, and you’re pursuing anal sex because you actually want to do it regardless of earning bragging rights, that’s a different story.
As with any type of sex, anal sex isn’t something to be expected, especially not from a one-night stand or casual hookup. Because anal sex is considered “kinky” in heteronormative cultures, you face the same problem as all of us who have quirky preferences. It can be a be a bit awkward to ask a complete stranger to tie you up (although this works on occasion!) or to have hot role-play with the guy who sits in front of you in Bio 40. Moreover, a lot of the time, anal sex is a subspeciality that many straight women have yet to list on their sexumés, so they have no obligation to do it with you, especially if you’re just trying to use them to brag to your friends.
However, should you decide to pursue playing in the backyard, here are some tips. First, if you’re trying to sweet-talk a skeptical partner, there are lots of nerve endings for both female-bodied and male-bodied individuals in the anus that make anal sex a lot of fun! For female-bodied individuals, the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, which means that anal sex can be extremely pleasurable. For male-bodied individuals, the pleasure from anal sex is centered at the prostate. The prostate has multiple nerve endings, and when a partner hits that sweet spot, you’ll be screaming for more.
Assuming your sweet-talk works, you and your ladyfriend should take a shower to make sure her backdoor is clean before you go to play in the backyard. She can take advantage of the warm water and insert a finger into her anal canal, but make sure never to use soap in this process, as this can end in a trip to the hospital (probably not what you’re looking for).
Next, as with any other type of sex, don’t forget the foreplay. As you get frisky, start massaging your partner’s anus, starting with one finger and adding more at your partner’s discretion. As in all aspects of sex, communication is key here. But, of course, don’t skip over oral sex in your foreplay endeavors. Anilingus, or oral sex on the anus, feels great!
When you’re both ready to put your pig in her blanket, remember to use plenty of lube! Silicone-based lube is best for anal sex, as it goes the extra mile. Make sure you enter slowly, especially if your partner has never done this before. Next, keep in mind that, because of the curvature of the rectum, it is important to make some adjustments to “traditional” sex positions. For example, a great entry position is a modified version of the missionary position, in which the receiving partner is propped on a pillow with the legs are on his/her partner’s shoulders. Another great position to try is having the receiving partner on top: From this position, the receiving partner can control the intensity of penetration. Another possibility is spooning, since the giving partner can run his/her hands all over the receiving partner, making the experience absolutely delicious.
We wish you the best of luck and the best of butts!
Tippy Maple and Tasty Temptations
Questions, concerns, positions to try? Submit input anonymously to http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/932QM8Q.