I guess one column ago is too soon to do an “In Remembrance of Columns Past,” but I did promise a continuation of last week’s treatise on the less utilitarian aspects of the sex toy. I just wanted to try a snappy name.
I said that I would talk about why anyone would ever need to use a sex toy, and by Jove (Jupiter, son of a titan, father of all gods), I will.
The thing is, no one needs to use sex toys. They are not a necessary part of human sexuality. However, that doesn’t stop me from suggesting that everyone should try a sex toy at least once (for funsies!).
Sex toys can be great masturbation aids. Even if you don’t feel like you need any help in that department, trying something new is always exciting, and you might find something you like even better. If you aren’t a great fan of masturbating for whatever reason, I would still suggest that exploring with sex toys should be an experience that you have at least once. This is a great way to get to know your body with the utmost privacy. A large part of the struggle is knowing what you want, and sex toys could help you sort that out.
So, sex toys can be great for solo-play and for figuring out stuff about yourself, but why use them with a partner?
Well, at this point, some of you dear readers are going “Well duh, I would use them with my partner” (and I’m sure there were many of you going “Well duh, sex toys are the best thing in forever”), but I’d like to cover all of the bases. No pun intended. I swear. I just want to make sure I go over all the things.
Introducing sex toys with a partner can be difficult, and it is definitely something that should be talked about in advance of the actual introduction of said sex toy in the heat of the moment. However, the introduction of a sex toy never means a replacement for a partner (something both partners should be very aware of). Strangely enough, people in possession of sex toys often find themselves searching for human companionship and intimacy as well. Instead, sex toys can be another tool to perform pleasure for your partner. Really, isn’t that (or shouldn’t that be) the point of all sex?
Of course, you should know why you want to introduce a sex toy into your relationship. For that, you need to know what feels good for you (and that’s another reason why self-exploration is key). The actual reasons why you should do it are so varied and numerous that I would not do them justice trying to list them in my little gray box in the corner of the Life and Style section. You know, like sometimes you only have so many hands so it’s nice to have some of these aids or you’re really into tails or just holding a riding crop really gets you going or…I think what I can do is to reiterate that new things are fun to try. If you don’t like it the first time (or the second time…or the third time), at least you know you don’t like it, and you can move on to the next thing.
I know that in the last column I mostly focused on masturbation aids that are largely targeted towards female-bodied persons, but I just wanted to reiterate that a sex toy could be pretty much anything your hearts desire. Though, it is safer to use something made to be a sex toy. And of high quality. Especially if they are going in orifices. I know I keep repeating myself, but some infections, even curable infections, are best avoided altogether.
So hopefully, I’ve convinced you that sex toys are a thing that you want to do. But how do you go about choosing one if you’ve never tried one before? The first question is, what are you interested in? That will largely dictate what you end up choosing to purchase. If you are unsure, a lot of sex toy websites have starter kits or have cheaper, classic versions of various sex toys for those who like to just try things. However, the key is to research. Research what you want. Read the reviews of different products. Familiarize yourself with the materials the toy is made out of. And compare prices! Sex toys can be expensive and sometimes Amazon can be your best (and most discreet) friend. Well…until all of your recommended items are sex toys.
Happy trails!
Please send your sex inquiries to sex@tsl.pomona.edu or drop them off in the envelope outside the TSL office in the Walker Fishbowl.
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