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Sex Column: Wax On, Wax Off

“It’s going to hurt.” I had those three words repeated to me
over and over when I told people that I was going to wax my lady parts for the
first time. I was so determined to try getting a wax at least one time in my
life, but last week was the first time my determination overrode my fear.
That fear, however, was not leaving any time soon.

When I talked to my friends who had done it before they would
smile and say, “Oh, you are going to love how it looks,” and, with the same big smile, add, “It’s going to hurt so badly.” I was talking with
another friend who said that it feels like “your vagina is getting ripped out.” When
I was at Student Health Services getting blood drawn recently, the nurse asked if I
thought I would get dizzy and I responded dully, “No, I’m not worried about
that.” I then explained, “I’m getting a Brazilian wax tomorrow.” I think I
saw her shake her head a little as she grimly repeated the mantra that everyone
had been saying: “It’s going to hurt.”

At
this point, I was going slightly crazy with fear. I asked my friends if they
could knock me unconscious and drag me into the salon. They said no. Then I
asked if I could use Novocain like I did when I got my wisdom teeth pulled.
They said no. Then I asked if we could possibly find horse tranquilizers by
the next day. They said, “No,” and “You are not a horse.”

So
I had to go in to the salon, completely conscious and not sedated. GREAT. Luckily for you other first-timers,
I can give you ten tips based on some research and my own experience: 

1. Take
an Advil about forty minutes to an hour before your appointment. 

2. Also take an antacid like Tums to
reduce acidity, which will reduce sensitivity and redness. 

3. For the more
delicate parts, have the beautician use Blue wax. Thicker hair on more sensitive
skin should naturally use a different waxing method than the thin hair on your
legs. 

4. Don’t drink caffeinated beverages. 

5. Gently exfoliate before waxing.
Use a loofah or a pumice stone. 

6. Clear the area of oils or lotions. 

7. Don’t
tense up. (Yeah, and you might as well forget that because it’s easier said than
done). 

8. FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL (believe me, I
wanted to). Sadly, it actually increases sensitivity.

9. This tip varies based on your comfort level, but it’s a great tip: bring a friend.
And by that I mean into the room with you. Your friend isn’t going to do much
good by reading about Rihanna in the waiting room. Salons try their best to
make a great atmosphere that soothes you, but dim lights and a Sounds of the
Rainforest
CD isn’t going to seem relaxing when you feel like you are facing
your impending doom. A friend knows exactly what to do or say to make you laugh
and take your mind off of things. Also, the awkwardness of her seeing a whole
new side of you will definitely give you something else to think about.

10. The final tip is to understand for whom you are doing this, yourself or someone
else? If you do it for yourself and how you want your body to look or feel, it
will hands down be more worth it. Do it because you know that when you go
home you will dance around without pants in front of the mirror. Do it because
you know you will want to give yourself an extra rubdown down there. Do it
because you know that even when your suitemate says that she would prefer that you kept your shorts on while in her room, you are going to say, “Fine, I’ll
leave,” and then proudly march back to your room where you can do your Sans Pants Dance in peace. Do it for you.

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