All I need to do is come up with one last gavel joke…
ASPC President Jed Cullen ’10 convened the meeting at 5:03 p.m.
All quiet on the Scott Levy front
The meeting began with Cullen asking the senators updates on their various committees. When Cullen addressed Commissioner of Academic Affairs Scott Levy ’10, Levy asked if he had already updated the senate on the deliberations of the Curriculum Committee. Cullen reminded him that he had said that the faculty needed more time to discuss the grade inflation proposal, and Scott confirmed that yes, the senate was up to speed.
Oh Frank, where art thou?
Vice President for Campus Activities Kayleigh Kaneshiro ’10, updating the senate on CCLA, confirmed that there will no longer be a committee for themed parties, but that the reallocation of funds will still allow opportunities for the funding of themed parties. She also noted that it was within the power of incoming VP for Campus Activities Frank Langan ’11 to throw parties before the year’s end. Unfortunately, Langan was not present to learn of this power.
All the news that’s fit to carry as a fashionable handbag
After the committee updates, Cullen asked Commissioner of Communications Alex Rudy ’11 if he had updates on the New York Times bags. The meaning of this cryptic request was revealed as Rudy moved toward the room’s southwest corner table, upon which stood a dozen elegant black bags featuring the newspaper’s logo. Rudy then distributed the bags to all the outgoing senators. South Campus Representative Jeff Levere ’12 declared that this bag was going to replace his CCLA bag, prompting Smith Campus Center Assistant Director Ellie Ash to ask, “Where do your loyalties lie, Jeff?”
Senators distracted by media conglomerate
The unusually giddy Levy was especially pleased with the many goodies contained in the bags. “Take that John Thomason!” he exclaimed to his bag-less replacement. At one point in the meeting, Ash declared that Levy was having way too much fun. The bags’ goodies included, among other things, a hat, notepad, and another bag. Watching his colleagues rifle distractedly through the contents of their new accessories, Cullen speculated that it might have been wise to have waited until the end of the meeting to distribute the bags.
Televised sports to play in Coop, but self-respecting fans should stay away
After a presentation of ASPC’s 2010-2011 projected budget by Vice President for Finance Kelly Schwartz ’10, Cullen asked Commissioner of Clubs and Sports Rylan Stewart ’10—sporting his spiffy new Times hat—to update the senate on the Coop Improvement Committee. After some confused back-and-forth between committee members Stewart, Levere, and Commissioner of Environmental Affairs Joanna Ladd ’10, Stewart motioned for the senate to devote up to $5,000 to the improvement option recommended by the committee. The details of this recommendation were clarified in the ensuing debate. The option involves the purchase of an additional TV to be placed on the divider above the condiments facing south. News and sports would be played without sound. Ladd and Commissioner of Community Relations Kim Hartung ’10 expressed concerns about creating an unwelcoming, alienating, and disruptive atmosphere in the Coop. Stewart challenged this last claim, noting that any self-respecting sports fan would choose to watch an important game with sound.
Is it possible to eject an unruly senator?
Stewart’s motion eventually passed, but only after another motion passed requiring the Coop Improvement Committee to devise a policy to determine the content of the TV. Only Levy opposed the first motion, but he informed the senate that his opposition was just for fun.
Senate laughs in the face of professionalism, tables motion
The senate debated the composition of the Student Affairs Committee with some arguing that both the North and South Campus Representative should sit on the committee and some arguing that one of those two and the Commissioner of Community Relations should sit on the committee. At some point during the convoluted debate, Ash noted that it would be helpful for the senate to refer to their binders, and the senate, none of whom had their binders, burst into collective laughter at the thought of coming to a meeting prepared. The debate was unresolved, and Cullen successfully tabled the motion.
Bennifer, Brangelina, Speidi… Jeffanie?
Cullen then introduced the last order of business, reminding “Jeffanie,” as he referred to the North and South Campus Rep’s, that they needed to appoint interim chairs of the Food Committee. The senate subsequently confirmed Joyce Lee ’12 and Max Grodnick ’13.
Off to Feldblum’s we go…
Cullen adjourned the meeting at 6:12 p.m.