Not So Fast: On Netflixing and Not Chilling

Back when I was 16, I was still getting the hang of the whole dating thing. Granted, I'd already made out with and given a handjob to the guy I was seeing within a week of dating, but as we agreed to slow things down, we opted for a quiet movie night together. His dad was out of town on business, and since I didn’t have much to do, I figured it would be a fun night out of the house. 

Because I'd never had alcohol before, he said we could drink a little bit and that he would help monitor me. He told me that he was going to play a horror movie, because those were the best movies for cuddling. It all sounded innocent to me, but my friends all laughed when I told them about our plans.

“A movie and cuddling is never just a movie and cuddling,” they all told me.

After I finished cross-country practice, I ran home to shower and pack for the night. I told my mom that I was just staying over at my friend Dinh’s house, since she didn’t know that I had a boyfriend. After the whole mom lecture about being careful and sleeping early, I was out when my guy came to pick me up. With a kiss, we were on our way.

As we made our way into his dad’s house, it was eerily quiet. He put on some mood lighting for us, and we began our feast for the evening: popcorn, tequila and limes. I was still a bit stiff from practice, so I did some yoga while he was in the kitchen working on the snacks. 

Suddenly, I felt someone humping me from the back while I was in downward dog. I fell forward, and he fell on top of me. I managed to wrestle myself away to the kitchen to get the snacks, and he went to go pop the movie in. In all honesty, I don’t even remember the movie we were supposedly watching that night.

I lay down on the couch first, and he fit himself to be the little spoon. I’d like to say that we at least tried to watch the movie in the beginning, but we really didn’t. I felt him start to grind into me and within seconds switch to being on top of me. We kissed passionately and rolled off onto the floor. As he wrestled my shirt off me, I couldn’t help but notice that we were being third-wheeled by Jesus and his cross on the wall, watching us.

“Clearly, I'm going to hell after the night is over,” I thought to myself.

As we pulled apart to catch our breaths, he asked me if I wanted to take my first shot. I just nodded my head, hoping that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself. Taking out two glasses, he filled them both with tequila. I was warned that I might cough from the alcohol, but I tried my best to take it like a champ.

“Like a natural,” he told me when I managed to swallow it down.

After a couple minutes, he asked me if he could take a body shot off me. I saw no harm in that either, so with a lime in my mouth and salt on my neck, it was getting handsy really quickly. After I took one more shot, we were back at it on the ground.

“Can I give you a blowjob?” he asked me again, just like he did a few days earlier. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I said only if I got to give him one first. We shifted into a comfortable position, and I brought my mouth to his dick. I could tell he showered before I came over, thankfully. 

I tried to play with it like I did with one of my bassoon reeds in band. Based on his moaning, I realized that being an instrumentalist had other benefits. I managed to finish him off in four minutes, and I swallowed my first load.

As he began to go down on me, it really didn’t feel special at all. It was nice having something warm and wet on me, but his lips were extremely loose and I wasn’t feeling much down there. 

“Wow, you’re really hard to get off,” he told me between breaths. After 10 minutes, I just started to get bored and faked an orgasm so he would stop.

“I don’t think you came that much,” he told me when he picked himself up. I lied and told him that I had jacked off earlier in the day, much to his dismay. We managed to find the couch again right as the movie credits started filling the screen. My boyfriend started yawning and told me that the oral made him too tired to stay up any longer, and he asked me to go to bed early with him. On the bright side, my mom got her wish that night.

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