Zombieland
, directed by Hollywood upstart Ruben Fleicher, premiered in theaters Oct. 2. The film depicts the last survivors of a “zombie apocalypse.” These unlikely heroes take a road trip across the country, hoping to find sanctuary from the undead hordes.John: If you can get past the gratuitous images of zombie blood, zombie vomit, and who-knows-what-else zombies are spewing up, this movie has heart. Protagonist Columbus Ohio (Jesse Eisenberg) is plagued by social anxieties to which we can all relate. The shy, video gaming shut-in is forced to abandon his reclusive lifestyle in order to escape certain death. In his journey through an American wasteland he is left to reflect on his solitary fears. The rules for survival in this apocalyptic world ensure that he continues his shallow existence, but also serve as a barrier against human contact. In his interactions with the film’s other primary characters, we see Columbus’s vulnerability reflected. He grows …Dan: … a pair of balls! Seriously, you spend 90 percent of the movie watching Michael Cera stubbornly avoid puberty while he has Woody Harrelson save his skinny butt every time he does something you don’t care about like express his feelings. Post ball-drop Cera’s pretty tolerable. But seriously, a zombie movie with Harrelson. It’s about time. He plays the part of Tallahassee, wielding submachine guns, Hummers, baseball bats, and a banjo to kill zombies in increasingly awesome ways, culminating finally in an epic showdown that is so genius that to say another word about it would spoil the movie. He even pretends, at one moment, to cry, totally throwing you off-guard, just so he can slam you in the face with his awesomeness by wiping away his tears with one-hundred dollars bills. Brilliant work, Woody, brilliant.John: First of all, there is much more to
Zombieland
than flashy gun slinging. To be perfectly honest, I felt that the relentless violence only distracted from character and plot development. Second, Cera does not appear in the film. The actor you are referring to, whom I mentioned previously, is Eisenberg.Dan: Give me three reasons he’s not Cera.John: That … he has a name and it’s Eisenberg!Dan: That’s one reason.John: No, he’s a different person!Dan: So I guess Cera kills a clown at one point. That is kind-of badass; character development in the right direction, I’d say. Preventing this movie’s development into a sausage fest, though, is Emma Stone, who plays the role of being hot. Her sister is Abigail Breslin, who was involved in a freak casting accident that landed her in this movie. If
Zombieland
were a goose, Harrelson would be its wings and Bill Murray would be its magical uterus, unexpectedly producing a golden egg. Cera would be its stupid little head. Breslin would be its appendix: small, yellowish and completely unnecessary.John: What Dan fails to realize is that
Zombieland
is not a goose. It is a story about the universality of loneliness.
Zombieland
shows us that life without laughter is not worth living and that true happiness can only thrive within a nurturing community.Dan: When the zombies come, weaklings like John will be the first to die.