Millertime: Reimagining Rains

I love Rains, I really do. During the season it’s a second home to me, and in the offseason it’s like a vacation getaway. Once you walk through those doors and past the person supposed to be checking IDs, you are in a whole new world where classes go out the window, homework doesn’t exist, relationships don’t have problems, and life is good. But looking forward to winter break, I’ve realized that I can’t wait to go to my gym back home. No, it won’t have the same feeling Rains has. There’s no Bernie to make sure you’re correctly using the weights and no athletics trainers to ease the pain while cracking jokes, but there’s a reason my monthly membership is $49.99. So in the Holiday Spirit, I’ve identified ten things from my gym that could seriously improve Rains.

Fresh Pressed Towels

If you’re lucky, you can sneak into the training room after practice and grab a towel to take back to the locker room. At that point you have to keep a careful eye on that towel, making sure your teammates don’t steal it, especially once you jump in the shower and it’s left hanging on a hook for anybody to take. More likely though, you’ll end up reusing your towel from the previous day that won’t quite be dry. Hey, beats using paper towels to dry off, and I’ve seen that happen more than once.

Better Showers

After two years I’ve found the art of locker room showering: you tilt two nozzles in, stand in the middle, and pray the hot water lasts. Back home, there are individual stalls to shower in lined with multicolored tile and that nice tempered glass for a door. Constant pressure? Not an issue. Warm enough? Always.

Hot tubs

There’s no better way to relax after a workout than a quick steam and a dip in the hot tub. The trainers like to say that if we had a hot tub, we wouldn’t use it for therapy, we’d just hang out in it. All the more reason to get one.

Indoor Field

In Colorado, it’s too cold most of the year to play comfortably outside. How does my gym solve this problem? Build an indoor field. You may say we don’t need an indoor field in Rains when it’s 80 degrees in November. I say you’re discriminating against those that like to play soccer at night. We are the 99 percent.

Outdoor Tanning Area

Since a significant number of Rains-goers walk over to the gym with the main goal of improving how they look, I say we help them go one step further. An outdoor area specifically designated for tanning, complete with lounge chairs and music. Who says reading days have to be about studying? It’s about time we take advantage of that 80 degree November weather.

Poolside Café

While we’re on the subject, if you give a college student a tanning area, they will want not only a pool but also a poolside café. Who can blame them? Fresh smoothies and Coop food delivered to your lounge chair will make even the worst day a little bit better.

Water Slide

You’re never too old for a water slide.

TVs in the ellipticals

College is stressful: you have a lot of work and sometimes you lose sleep. But when it comes down to a choice between homework and watching that new episode of “Gossip Girl,” it’s not even a choice. That’s why little TVs on all the ellipticals are perfect: you can get your workout in, and justify it by watching the television show you would’ve just watched later. Who says running indoors has to be boring?

Fancy Yoga Room

The little dance room upstairs in Rains is just not cutting it for me. At my home gym, the lights dim when the class is ready to start, there are decorations and floral scents in all corners of the room, and a surround-sound music system keeps you involved in that Vinyasa. At least we could spring for free yoga mats.

Nice Weight Room

The 2,000 square foot weight room at my gym might be a bit overkill, but it’s quite the step up from the little room we have here. You know you’re in trouble when the sign on the door warns you that the room you’re entering isn’t climate controlled and may be too hot or too cold. Then you see the small amount of space we have and the limited amount of equipment, and it’s clear something needs to be done.

Rains may not be the hub for most of the student body. On the list of renovations it may be below Oldenborg and Mudd–Blaisdell. But seriously, if we could have taken that $28 million spent on the parking garage nobody uses and given Rains a facelift instead, our gym could be just as nice as any $49.99-a-month gym.

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