Like most people my age who live in the Internet era, I remember the days when Tumblr was hip. I mean, this reblogging thing? Genius. It was the perfect social networking platform for people who didn’t want the workload of an actual blog—like, you know, me.
Sadly, Tumblr is slowly receding into the dusty archives of the Internet with the likes of MySpace. I realize that’s a huge accusation to make, especially when the site has 75.7 million blogs and is growing by the second, but I have solid proof that Tumblr just isn’t the cool place to be anymore.
It’s simple: Mitt Romney has discovered Tumblr.
His blog, in a fashion similar to Barack Obama’s, has pages of patriotically colored infographics, supposedly shocking facts about Obama’s awful tax policies and lots of nicely lit pictures of Romney and his running mate. You know, the one with the big ears.
As it turns out, this blog has been around since April 2012, probably created in an attempt to match Obama in targeting young, hip and happening voters.
It’s a nice campaign strategy, in theory. Word spreads fast on the web, as anyone who has witnessed the rapid rise of memes knows. And Tumblr, with its easy reblogging button, does half your work for you. The conservative wing has traditionally had a hard time getting younger voters on its side, and where else would you find more young people than on a social networking site?
The problem is that … well, no one thinks R. Money is cool. He’s spent so much time cultivating his image as a businessman-politician and courting traditional conservative bases that many young people frankly cannot relate to the views he claims he has—that is, when people actually know what his views are. Then there’s the leaked footage of him saying demeaning things about dependent Americans. Let’s be real: most Tumblr users aren’t wealthy CEOs, and many young adults depend on government funds and programs to get on their feet. No one wants to follow your blog after you call them deadbeats.
It’s like when middle-aged people with kids and babysitters find the really obscure coffee shop you thought was super hip and invade in droves. How are you supposed to dispassionately sip at your iced mocha latte and type mysterious, brilliant things on your MacBook when the person next to you is wearing a velveteen tracksuit?
I don’t know about you, but thinking about Mitt typing up posts conjures up images of moms who haven’t figured out that miniskirts are no longer appropriate for their age. Then again, he has a blog. He isn’t a regular mom. He’s a cool mom.