Hear ye, hear ye, higher-than-thou stoners of the Claremont Colleges.
Smoking weed is not a personality trait. There, I said it.
Before I am met with too much stoner backlash (bakelash?), allow me to qualify my claim. No, I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with smoking weed. Yes, many of my friends do it, and no, it doesn’t make me think any less of them.
But there’s a specific subtype of stoner, one we’ll call the “Enlightened Enabler,” who centers cannabis consumption as their main personality trait. Maybe nobody immediately comes to mind, but I assure you all know one.
The Enlightened Enabler loves weed. Like, a lot. So much, in fact, that they can’t go more than five minutes without alluding to the fact that they either plan on smoking weed, have recently smoked weed or, assuming they do not mention it, are currently so baked they cannot produce speech. Rest assured, in 30 minutes, you’ll hear all about their experience.
You may be thinking to yourself, “That’s all well and fine, so long as they don’t push it on others.” But, see, the thing is, they do push it on others.
I’m certainly a proponent of exploration and figuring out what works with you, but no means no, and the same rules of consent that apply to sexual encounters also apply to drug-related encounters.
I have experienced this mostly with people who have sampled marijuana but ultimately concluded it wasn’t for them. It’s not uncommon to hear the Enlightened Enabler say something along the lines of, “Oh, you just smoked too much, you should try again,” or, “You felt anxious? That was probably just a sativa, here, lemme give you a super mellow indica.”
If someone not smoking means you have nothing in common, you’re more or less implying that smoking is all you are.
The problem isn’t the sativa; it’s you, Jerry.
One of the more heartbreaking byproducts of the existence of such specimens is the social ramifications of leaving such a friend group. (If you are one such specimen, you probably had to reread that last sentence a few times; I assure you that was intentional.)
Like Ugg boots, kombucha, women’s rights and the many other things people embrace when they’re in style, drug habits are often subject to change.
If you belong to a friend group with Enlightened Enablers and ultimately decide you want to stop smoking weed, a severe strain (haha get it) can be put on the friendship, whether that might entail constant subjection to peer pressure, active exclusion from social activities or (in more extreme cases, though not altogether uncommon) a termination of those friendships.
I have known many Enlightened Enablers who spoke ill of “friends” of theirs that didn’t smoke, claiming they had “nothing in common.”
If someone not smoking means you have nothing in common, you’re more or less implying that smoking is all you are.
If you took the time to read this article (especially if you’re an Enlightened Enabler and only read this because you saw “weed” in the title, since I know time for you is like … crazy, man), I want to present some general takeaways.
STONERS: BEGIN READING HERE
Smoking weed is not inherently bad. Abusing your power as somebody’s friend and pressuring them into consuming weed is bad. Making a drug the majority of your personality is bad. Excluding people from your friend group because they don’t smoke weed is bad.
Enlightened Enablers: Take the high road, even when there isn’t a blunt in sight.
Cameron Tipton PO ’20 is a goddamn manchild. They love Lana Del Rey just a little too much.