After President Stephanie Almeida ’11 banged her gavel at 5:17 to open the meeting, she turned things over to Environmental Affairs Commissioner Nate Wilairat ’11 for the first and most important thing on the day’s agenda: Balloon Pollution. According to Wilairat, 10% of all balloons released into the air, eventually fall into the ocean, polluting the water and endangering the animals nearby. In fact, Wilairat explained, “if you go to the beach, balloons are the most common things you will find there… other than syringes.” Seriously, we can’t make this shit up.
Words of Wisdom
After Wilairat finished, Commissioner of Sports and Clubs Ari Filip ’12 took over to talk about last Saturday’s homecoming events. Filip explained that the event was an overall success, as the committee was able to sell almost all of their T-shirts and other gear. Filip noted that the game itself was very well attended, “especially considering there was no keg.” Just imagine if they had had a TUB.
As Commissioner of Academic Affairs John Thomason ’12 explained the math department’s petition for a new professor, some of the senators began debating the merits of this petition. President Almeida quickly motioned toward her gavel, however, after noting the TSL reporter furiously scribbling away next to her, and perhaps remembering last week’s Senate Briefs, she opted to simply ask the senators to regain focus. Now all we need is for that dang Vice President of Finance to get off Yahoo Sports.
Later, President Almeida brought up the recent announcement that Dean of Admissions Bruce Poch will be retiring at the end of the year. The senate began discussing appropriate actions it could take, prompting Vice President of Finance Cosi Thawley ’11 to suggest that they write a resolution, “just like a real senate.” All the senators joined in on a collective “aww.”
Don’t quit your day job
Early in the meeting, the senators debated the proper pronunciation of incoming professor Jonathan Lethem’s last name. President Almeida quickly brought the debate to a close by providing the proper pronunciation, explaining that she knows these things as an English major. Later, as President Almeida read a proposal to have security incidents reported to campus safety via text message, she stumbled over the word “surreptitiously,” before opting to skip over it. No word yet from the Commissioner of Academic Affairs if it is too late to change that major.
After President Almeida finished explaining the incident report proposal, she asked the senators to form a sub-committee to investigate the matter further. North Campus Representative Amal Karim ’11 quickly offered to join the committee, but not as a leader. Three more senators made the same offer, leaving the committee leaderless. So, if there is an alumnus out there who needs to put a little extra leadership experience on their resume, please contact ASPC immediately.