Likes: “Tempo” by Lizzo
Dislikes: The sound of running water
Favorite not-a-toy: Hair
Hogwarts house: Slytherin
Wants to tell readers: “Chomp chomp”
Garnett is a cat of many names, including Gary, Barbara, Baguette, Garbage and more. His owner and main parent, Sarah Meadows SC ’22, says essentially anything goes when referring to the big tabby, as long as one doesn’t call him Garnet, with a singular t and emphasis on the first syllable.
Garnett has lived with Meadows since the summer of 2019. He originally came from a shelter, to which he was returned by three different families due to his aggression issues. Meadows’ brother finally adopted Garnett, and trained him into toning the aggression down.
After some time, Meadows’ brother decided to move, and since Meadows wanted to live with the cat, Garnett moved in with Meadows shortly after. Since his arrival at Scripps, the cat has quickly become an irreplaceable member of the college community.
Garnett’s primary duty as an honorary Scrippsie is to serve as an emotional support animal, and despite having serious anxiety and depression himself, he makes a great ESA.
“Honestly, he helps me with a lot of my physical disabilities,” Meadows said, “[And] when I get big sad and cry, he’ll sit on my chest and purr.”
Garnett additionally ensures that Meadows gets out of bed in a timely manner. If not, he bites Meadows until Meadows gets up and feeds him.
As for the cat’s other responsibilities, it depends on who you ask. According to Grace Corrigan SC ’22, Meadows’ roommate and Garnett’s co-parent at Scripps, it’s to bankrupt Meadows, mostly through food and vet bills. Meadows, however, said that it is to be “a fat bastard.” Corrigan argued that these are one and the same.
Garnett is not only a “fat bastard,” Meadows said, but also a mercurial one, whose attitude shifts from minute to minute.
“He really [is] on his bullshit lately,” Meadows laughed, referencing Garnett’s extreme moodiness.
Corrigan explained that the cat gets overstimulated very easily, much like a human can. Despite being very affectionate and loving cuddles, he will suddenly have had too much, and give a warning bite to say stop.
Meadows and Corrigan firmly believe that Garnett belongs on “The Bachelor.” Their reasoning comes from the women all over the Scripps campus trying to win Garnett’s love and affection, and his disinterest, leaving them all hanging.
Garnett does like to play, especially with laser pointers. He’s intelligent enough to grasp that the point of light isn’t tangible but loves chasing it anyways. He also likes balls and playing fetch, especially with stress balls from the Sallie Tiernan Field House.
Another of his favorite games is to try and escape the dorm. Meadows and Corrigan had to get a special spray to keep him inside, which emits hormones and makes a terrible noise. Garnett’s escape attempts have become more desperate lately, since he’s had to go to the vet fairly frequently, draining both his emotional tolerance and Meadows’ bank account.
One escape in particular came to Meadows’ mind, as Meadows eventually had to call Campus Security on the cat. Meadows had taken Garnett on a walk, but he ran away, and Meadows was unable to find him for hours. Eventually Meadows found him in a bush, stuck since he was too fat to get out. Meadows called Campus Security, who in turn called the maintenance department, and after five hours total, the cat was cut out of the bushes.
If Garnett was to be placed in a Hogwarts house, Meadows firmly believes that the cat is a Slytherin.
“He’s so loyal, but he’s also a conniving little asshole … [He’s] so self-serving, but also is loyal to a fault.”
Despite his recent grumpiness due to his vet visits and his subsequent increased attempts to run away, the love Meadows and Corrigan have for Garnett is obvious. His antics amuse them constantly, and they feel lucky to have him on campus. He clearly brings them entertainment and affection, enhancing and improving their lives at Scripps.
As Corrigan said, “What a horrible cat. Love him.”
Lucia Stein SC ’23 is TSL’s pet columnist. When she’s not following pets around campus, she’s performing with Under the Lights, listening to NPR and making people laugh — usually intentionally.