Beer Scavvy Celebrates Bristol Palin’s Engagement

For those of you that weren’t present at CMC’s Parents Field early Saturday night, you missed a stunning demonstration of patriotism. Led by three figures disguised as two former presidents and our current Secretary of State, 350 or so extravagantly costumed students joined a recording of Kelly Clarkson in singing our national anthem. Shortly afterward, a sort of organized chaos ensued as the pack dispersed in nearly every direction, searching for obscure clues around the five college campuses.

Walker Wall was immediately overwhelmed and quickly became a sloppy collage of team names. Shortly afterward alumnus Jordan Kunz PO ‘07 received the first of many explicit texts, expressing various sexual acts in limerick form (or near-limerick form given that several teams apparently don’t know how to write limericks). By 8:43 p.m., a mere 25 minutes since the first alteration, editing on Wikipedia had been temporarily blocked to on-campus users due to persistent (and easily reversible) vandalism. As 10 p.m. approached, alumnus Brad Markle PO ‘08, had become inundated with nearly 100 seductive and equally explicit belated birthday wishes. As quickly as it began, everything was over and one team reigned supreme.

This, of course, was the legendary Fourth Annual “This-is-still-in-no-way-associated-with-OTL” Heath Ledger / Bristol Palin’s Engagement / Prosperous Future for Graduating Seniors / Bush Presidency Memorial Beer Scavvy. Scavvy is a four-year-old event organized annually by a group of anonymous students that call themselves “Team the Man.” The event has gained a cult-like following and massive popularity among students, while also generating frustration among administrators. By our estimates, over 15 percent of the Pomona student body participated in this year’s hunt despite its discrete means of advertising. Students are asked to form teams, name themselves creatively, and participate in costume. They are given a list of nineteen tasks that scatter them across the five colleges.

This year’s clues had students collect an orange and coerce it into a condom, obtain a receipt for exactly 47 cents, and have a Harvey Mudd student solve a math equation on their lower backs, among other challenges. The team that successfully completes the tasks and chooses to drink 24 beers themselves fastest is considered the overall and “Full Nelson” winner. They receive a prize and have their names inscribed on an imaginary champions belt. In an effort to de-emphasize the necessity of drinking, prizes are also awarded to teams for winning the “Half Nelson” (a category where teams can seek help in finishing beer, if they choose to drink) and for best costume.

We’d like to congratulate this year’s winners and share some of the content the event created last weekend. First and foremost, congratulations to the Overall Winner, Team Frieburg, who dominated the field and finished in a mere 75 minutes despite unprintable obstacles that should have prevented them from even finishing. Upfish came in second and was the Half Nelson winner, while Team XXXtreme Fitness finished out the top three. Pave Don’t Save took the award for best costume, with honorable mentions going to Team Quail Man and TEAM HANNAH MONTANA.

Other notable team names included: The Star Whores; Scavenge Me, Scripps; Awkward Hookup; FemaleathletesinMudd1backwhodrinkonaregularbasis; and Your Mom Asked Us to Babysit.

One of our favorite birthday wishes to Brad was submitted by Team Quail Man: “I know things have been weird between us lately. That thing with the grapefruit…it was dark and really, it can happen to anyone. I feel like me ignoring your birthday was a particularly low blow and you really deserve better. I want you to know I was thinking of you anyway. I think we should meet up again sometime soon. You can even bring some citrus ;).”

Another task asked teams to incorporate their team name into an edit on Occidental College’s Wikipedia entry (you can view a particularly trashed version of the page here: Some of our favorite changes included: “Occidental College is well known for its LIBRARY STAFF, several of whom were involved in a Child Sex scandal in nearby Inglewood.” The school’s faculty profile was also modified to include “2 percent Impotent Pancakes” and its motto was changed to “The West is nearest the East – Awkward Hookups Abound.”

Team XXXtreme Fitness’s amendment to our Walker Wall tag that read: “Team the Man IV blows goats. We have proof!” was also very creative.

This year’s Scavvy was designed to be as least destructive to property as possible. Scavvys of the past have necessitated pool break-ins and forays to the library. These tasks were eliminated in favor of clues that forced students to be creative rather than disruptive. In the future, Team the Man would be happy to work with interested parties in modifying aspects of Scavvy, and making them more amenable to all. We’re also more than content to continue to work above “The Man” that is mocked in our emblematic moniker. We tried to collect charitable donations from teams this year, but were mostly unsuccessful. This could be more aggressively pursued in future Scavvys. If you have an constructive suggestions, we can be reached by e-mail (

We’d like to clarify one final issue: Scavvy has absolutely nothing to do with On The Loose. We cannot emphasize this enough. Seriously. The “this-is-still-in-no-way-associated-with-OTL” that’s contained in the event’s title is a reflection of Scavvy’s past, when OTL and Scavvy were more closely linked than might have been desirable. For this year’s event we decided to keep the phrase in the title to reflect the event’s past and to reflect the irony of the fact that intelligent people STILL insist on drawing a completely nonexistent connection between the two organizations. OTL is dedicated to running substance-free outdoors trips. Its staff is smart enough to avoid involving themselves in an event that could potentially tarnish the image of one of the best organizations on campus.

Thanks to everyone who came out and participated. We’ll see you next April.

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply