Li’l Horse Learns to Stop and Smell the Roses

With Parks and Recreation in
its seventh and final season, I have decided to dedicate my first column to
the late and great Li’l Sebastian.

“It’s
times like this when someone … or some horse passes that you really take stock
of your life. You look around you, and you start to realize what it is that you
truly care about,” said Leslie Knope about the death of Pawnee’s local
miniature horse hero Li’l Sebastian in the season three finale of Parks and Rec.

My time in Claremont is my Li’l Sebastian. Though it has not
passed quite yet, it is crazy to think of how li’l time I have l left now that
I am a second-semester horse—I mean junior.

I love it here like the residents
of Pawnee adored their legendary mini-horse. I was once like the close-minded
fool Ben Wyatt, who failed to understand the captivating creature’s appeal,
seeing him as nothing more than a pony. I am wiser now and know very well that
Claremont is far more than just a pathetic little pony: This place is a goddamn
black stallion.

Similar to how Li’l Sebastian was the eighth-most-photographed thing in America following the Alamo, Claremont students have four-and-a-half beautiful campuses (sorry, Mudd, you’re kind of ugly, but I love you
so much) to constantly Instagram every day. Odds are that almost every 5C
student you follow just ‘grammed today’s sunset. #nofilter #endlesssummer

Aside from Claremont’s Blue Steel photogenic status, we are
all working long hours toward receiving degrees from some of the top liberal
arts colleges in the country. Whether we are studying in Honnold/Mudd, The
Coop, The Motley, The Cube, atop a unicycle or in The Marquee, it doesn’t
really matter because one day we will all achieve some of the successes that
Dr. Li’l Sebastian will forever hold in his name—one of them being an honorary
degree from the University of Notre Dame.

These schools would be nowhere near Li’l Sebastian status
without the eclectic group of individuals (weirdos) that inhabit them. That being
said, meeting new people is overwhelming and definitely tough. I have learned that friends, especially in a college environment, often come and
go.

I mean, take it from Li’l Sebastian and his roller coaster of relationships.
There was Li’l Agnes, from whom Li’l Sebastian became inseparable after they met at a fundraiser—until she unexpectedly shut him out. Then, like the incestuous,
unfortunate 5C hookup culture, Li’l Sebastian really busted out: Li’l Zelda,
Li’l Jasmine, Li’l Courtney and that one time with Big Jim.

I have had my fair
shares of Li’l Agneses and Jasmines, but now I am doing what I want and
surrounding myself with people with whom I actually like spending time.

Claremont has enlightened me in the same way that Li’l
Sebastian spread love and happiness to girls and boys of all ages. This tiny
place definitely grew on me—like how the moronic Ben Wyatt only saw Li’l
Sebastian as “kind of a small horse”—but I know that I am finally comfortable
here and want to take advantage of every remaining day.

Li’l Claremont has taught
me that every li’l moment counts. No matter where you may be in your college career—first-year, sophomore,
junior, senior—every li’l thing happens for a reason, and you learn just as much
from your li’l negative experiences as you do from your li’l positive ones.

So
yeah, maybe I could have spent a li’l less time eating carrots and urinating
freely—I mean, horsing around with friends (sorry, the former was Li’l
Sebastian’s favorite pastime), and a li’l more time doing all of my Sakai readings.
But now I know better and am, hopefully, destined for greatness like the
legendary Li’l Sebastian. So let us all take after Li’l Sebastian, who never
had to deal with any of the pressing college student stresses, because he was a
horse.

Will Cafritz PZ ’16 is majoring in media studies with a concentration in film/video. He is from Washington, D.C. and has dual citizenship in Switzerland.

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