Warped Tour: A Jr. High Revival

Let’s be honest here—there are only two questions that
matter post-Thanksgiving. You ask yourself, “Are the next three weeks going to be
awful?” When you inevitably realize that the answer to that one is a resounding
yes, the second question rears its ugly head: “How am I going to spend my final Saturday
before I slide into the living hell that is reading days and finals?”

Answer? Sure as hell not Yule Ball.

No, drinking and hanging with friends is sufficient for
plenty of weekends, but not this one. This one requires something more potent,
more cathartic and altogether whinier.

Of course, leave it to your lovely friends at KSPC, Noise
Floor, SAC and Music Co. to soothe your angsty emotional troubles, for
tomorrow night Pitzer College’s Grove House will be host to Warped Tour 2004!

“What the heck does that even mean?” you ask. Well, the
joke’s a little off in terms of accuracy, but who cares. We’ve got a
bunch of local bands covering Weezer, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy and Green Day (Note: these aren’t cover bands. They’re real, awesome bands that were
convinced to do cover sets. Commence freaking out).

If this were a normal column, this is the part where I would
go through the lineup and tell you about each band’s merits, but that seems
unnecessary for cover sets of this sort. This is one of those times where
either your inner middle schooler is already foaming at the mouth or you
stopped reading around the time I said “Fall Out Boy.”

So instead, I’ll simply run through the evening’s agenda and
give you some quick discography primers to help you get in the mood for the
winter woes. After all, what is Weezer’s
best album? (Trick question! There are two).

First up is Claremont’s very own Ruhi Balla doing a lovely
Green Day set. For those my age, it might be difficult to conjure up a time when
the god-awful “Wake Me Up When September Ends” didn’t exist, but it is true that, for a nice stretch of the 1990s, Green Day didn’t even suck at all. 

For the perfect meeting ground of snot-nose-kids-meet-studio-production-levels,
check 1994s Dookie. It’s got the
classics like the tragic “Welcome to Paradise” and the masturbatory “Longview,”
along with my own personal favorite lazy love anthem “Sassafras Roots.”
It’s absolutely essential listening, and, with any luck, I’d wager Ruhi Balla’s
set will be largely culled from this era of GD.

After that is the awesomely named Hillary Chillton, hailing
from Upland, covering nothing but Fall Out Boy. I assume anyone who’s made it
this far doesn’t really need me to tell them to go listen to From Under the Cork Tree again, but go
do it anyway. And Take This To Your
And maybe even Infinity on
, if only for that Jay-Z drop in the first song. Usually I’d be a
stickler about emo credibility or whatever, but the idea of finally getting
that intimate, sweaty FOB show that I never experienced has me feeling all
giddy inside.

Up next is Winter Break, who rose from the ashes of Summer
Vacation earlier this year, covering Blink-182. This one’s a little trickier,
since hardcore fans could understandably argue about their best album for days
(Buddha, anyone?), but let’s just
make this easy for everyone and say Enema
of the State
is the one you need. From the overrated “All the Small Things”
to the underrated “Dysentery Gary,” it’s a snapshot of stupid immaturity in all
the best ways. From there, go earlier for more punk and later for more pop.
Easy, right?

Last, but certainly not least, is San Diego’s The Frights
with a Weezer set. As anyone who’s talked to me about music for more than two
minutes will attest, Weezer sits firmly in my list of the top five things to happen to
me ever, so I’m more than slightly biased when I say this set’s going to
rule, but this set’s totally going to

For those who only know “Buddy Holly,” The Blue Album is an immaculate run of hooky guitar pop that’ll
acquaint you with a ton of perennially popular tracks. After that, go listen to
Pinkerton, the polarizing emotional
wreckage that came right after. From pop perfection to flawed masterpiece, it
took them all of two albums to reach heights most garage rock bands can only
dream of (and then subsequently mess everything up and eventually write an album named after a character from Lost). Even if The Frights somehow
manage to mess this up and only play the ‘hits,’ this set promises to be the
highlight of my post-Thanksgiving malaise.

Happy finals, and see you in the pit.

Gage Taylor PO ’16 is majoring in media studies and philosophy. He is the electronic music director for the 5C radio station KSPC, and his first concert was NSYNC. 

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