Wardrobe Wisdom for the No-Chella Soul

It’s that time of year again: the time for fashion magazines
and blogs to discuss the topic of Festival Wear. Coachella, Bonnaroo, and
Lollapalooza are all approaching, and with their arrival comes the inevitable amnesia about how to dress oneself. (Thank goodness for style
columns, right?)

If, like
me, you looked online at Coachella tickets and realized that you could buy
about 60 pizzas for the price of a ticket and suddenly lost your desire to go,
keep reading. This column will discuss an equally important question: What
do you wear when your friends are all at Coachella and you’re still in Claremont?

For those
of you going to Coachella, my fashion advice is simple: Wear a waterproof
poncho. You’re going to be touching the rough equivalent of the population of
West Virginia, except that instead of West Virginians, the crowd is made up of sweaty
hipsters who haven’t showered for many days. Don’t worry—the plague is almost
eradicated in the American Southwest. Almost.

But for you
frugal folks who are saving your $605 (at last check) for something else, like
food, shelter, and 14 pairs of boots, your sartorial options remain completely
open! Well, as open as they can be in a place that is eternally summer. My duck
boots have been feeling awfully neglected since I moved to California.

starters, you should probably pay a quick visit to the rooms of your friends who
went to Coachella. Those rich bastards probably left closets full of Madewell
and Anthropologie ripe for plundering.

This spring
has seen a significant increase in mid-length skirts. I love midis because of my oddly
shaped knees, so bidding farewell to the mini has never been a struggle for me. However, you should avoid the fate of so many celebrities who go “incognito” to
Coachella; floor-length crochet skirts don’t work on Vanessa Hudgens, so don’t
get too bold. 

I tend to go for simple midi skirts in dark colors. I’m biased because I
only wear dark colors (to match my soul, clearly), but please don’t fall into
that horrible Southern trope of pastels in the spring. As a lifelong Georgian,
I’ve seen Lilly Pulitzer in every possible incarnation, and I think it’s time to
move on.

Crop tops
are an eternal staple of Coachella, and Claremont, too. I’m not going to get
sassy because I understand the appeal: It’s a socially acceptable way to
essentially wear a swimsuit to a party, or even to class. Follow your
heart song, if it feels right. You’ll be in good company.

Coachella-ers, please avoid the floral headdress look. I love Frida Kahlo as
much as the next women’s college student, but some things are better left to
the professional artists. Please do not purchase a floral headband and
take selfies on Instagram filtered through Valencia. We aren’t 14 anymore.

Other gross
trends to avoid include any sort of sunglasses that go beyond simple sun
protection. Covered in flowers? Maybe not. Heart-shaped? Let it be, Lolita. Sun
damage is real, y’all, so think ultraviolet protection.

For those
of us remaining behind in Claremont, we can continue to rock our usual college-chic looks, but this
week we have an extra excuse to flaunt our Goodwill flannel. Frugal, fly, oh so fashionable, and ecologically friendly, used clothes are the ultimate
statement piece this season. 

For the love of all that is recyclable, do not buy
something at Urban Outfitters that you could get at Goodwill and try to pass it
off. Pre-distressed denim from Urban Outfitters is a great way to proclaim that you hate good
sense and the earth, so this spring, get your butt to a thrift store and
flaunt your good tastes. With everyone else in Indio, there’s no risk involved! 

Sadie Renjilian SC ’17 is from Atlanta, Ga. Her favorite shoe is the clog. 

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