Dear patrons and readers,
That’s right, we’re back! And on an official student-run newspaper, no less! Believe us, we never thought this would happen either, especially after being almost shut down entirely over brand dispute and forced into a lonesome hiatus. Hopefully TSL has won us some new readers, and since there was clearly some confusion in the past, we would like you to meet our brand, in all its glory, warts and all.
Frank, both dining hall and discourse
ABEM (Always Be Eating Mexican)
ASAFO (As Soon As Frank Opens)
Enhancing the Brand
When Frank gets creative
Chat-n-cuts* (we will call you out)
A Capella at snack
When Frank gets creative
*Chat-n-cut (chăt-ĭn-kŭt) noun 1. the act of conversing with someone well positioned in a line with the explicit intention of abbreviating one’s own wait. 2. feigning familiarity with someone one vaguely knows for the sole purpose of cutting in line.
Buffets: A Cautionary Tale
As you know, Frank is a lovely environment full of friends, good cheer, and lots of food options. And like Pomona, Frank fosters exploration and taking on a full plate. But one young man, a bit overwhelmed and overenthusiastic, bit off more than he could chew —and ended several Frank dining experiences with a stomach as empty as it had been when he began. The road ahead may be tough on your esophagus, but Frank dinner is not the time to over-imbibe. Keep your noble savage in check by reminding it that Taco Tuesday is in fact every Tuesday.
Vegetarians have BEEF with Machaca Breakfast Burritos
What is Machaca, you may wonder? Few know, but all were led to believe that this reconstituted Mexican beef product is vegetarian by Pomona’s frequently incorrect food labels. We could list other instances of mislabeling but we’d be writing until the cows come home.
We’ve heard of Naked Lunch, but bathrobe to brunch? Already the utility of a bathrobe is questionable: Hugh Hefner or The Dude? So weigh in, should Frank be an extension of your gender neutral restroom or a scene? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Screw Your Roommate is often a lavish affair involving ornate couples’ costumes, secrecy, and little romantic success. But one attendee just wanted to return to “simpler times.” Or perhaps our young hero felt rushed into an intimate situation s/he was not ready for, and sought much needed social lubrication. Although we applaud the effort, for the sake of the Frank community, please conceal all DAFing*.
*DAF abbr. Drink at Frank