Last weekend, my friends and I ventured to our favorite Indian restaurant in Upland for dinner. We have cherished this restaurant since freshman year, and the memories of our meals there are abundant. The conversation was flowing beautifully as I devoured my shahi paneer, until my friend suddenly disrupted the flow with a jarring interjection:
“Guys, next year is going to be so sad without our Swad of India dinners.”
All of my friends’ faces drooped as this thought washed over them. What a buzzkill, am I right? It was clear that a yearning for the past overcame my friends because our conversation got stuck in memories for the rest of the outing.
There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing, but too many of my fellow seniors and post-grads are unhealthily clinging to the past of our college years. Whether it’s my friends solemnly reminding me that this is our “last” of something or my post-grad close friend in New York City crying about how much he misses Pomona the night before I returned — there is a pervasive feeling that the best years are behind us. This romanticization of the past leads to the toxic assumption that one “peaks” in college, which implies that a person’s life will only get worse.
This thought process stems from rosy retrospection, a cognitive bias where people tend to remember the past as better than it actually was. Rosy retrospection blinds college seniors from observing the beauty of our present moment.
Understanding this cognitive bias, we seniors must challenge and question the way we interpret our memories if we want to truly enjoy our last year and embrace the future.
It is normal to think fondly of the past when an era’s end approaches, but with less than a year left, the main goal should be to revel in the present as much as possible. We are young, vibrant, and full of life — enriching opportunities confront us daily in the present and await us in the future. To perceive the past as better than where we currently are, or where we’re going, is illogical when we have barely scratched the surface of life.
Rosy retrospection plays an important role in maintaining a positive mindset and promoting mental health, but we must recognize that the comforting past we tend to recollect is faulty. Over time, the unfavorable aspects of past events fade from our memory while the uplifting elements endure. When reflecting on the past, we tend to recall people, events, locations, and objects in more abstract terms. This abstraction makes us inclined to concentrate on positive, broad ideas rather than the intricate and sometimes unpleasant specifics.
Without awareness of our cognitive bias, it’s easy to trust our memories of college as reality.
For example, at our dinner last weekend, my friends talked longingly about our first dinner at Swad of India. We discussed the food, the group of sponsor buddies we were with and the jokes that were the foundation of our freshman year. While memory depicts this moment as perfect, my friends failed to remember the unfamiliarity that consumed us as freshmen, the difficulty we faced navigating the bus system or how one of our friends spread a virus to all of us at that dinner.
A pessimistic perspective on life is not what I am arguing for; rather, I argue that we should equalize all of our memories’ components to balance the past with the present and future. I understand there is no way to utterly defeat this cognitive bias due to its role as a protection mechanism in our brains. However, recognizing that rosy retrospection exists is achievable and grants us a degree of freedom from its total influence.
One should ask themselves and others this question when harping on the past: “Was that moment truly perfect?” Seeking input from others is crucial when recollecting the past. Different people will recall past events in varied ways, and their perspectives can contribute to a more accurate understanding.
Journaling has proven to be an effective strategy for lessening rosy retrospection’s control. Maintaining a diary or journal can help us remember details, clarify uncertainties, and reflect on events more authentically. Documenting our thoughts is a tried-and-true method frequently recommended in self-help literature. This practice grounds us in reality, offering a reliable way to retrieve accurate memories when we need them most.
In my study abroad journal I emphasize equally the unpleasant moments and the amazing moments. Whenever I’m yearning to go back in time to fall 2023 in Barcelona, I read through my journal where the best moments and the raw moments of struggle are still fresh to remind myself of the perfectly imperfect study abroad experience.
As college seniors, it’s easy to romanticize the past and mourn what we think we’ll lose. We must resist this urge and acknowledge rosy retrospection to reclaim the present and embrace the future. Let’s savor each moment, journal our thoughts and remind ourselves that life is a journey — not a peak. There’s so much more ahead if we dare to embrace it.
Tess McHugh PO ’25 is from Denver, CO. She loves geography map quizzes, cider, and Star Wars.
One thought on “OPINION: Why clinging to college memories can hold us back”
Comments are closed.