On my red-eye flight to New York City for spring break, I discovered the wisdom of Ariana Grande’s new euphoric album.
Grande had some pretty high expectations following the release of her album “Positions” nearly four years ago, where she sings about the extreme ups and downs of labeled relationships. But in her 2024 album “Eternal Sunshine,” Grande does something different: She sheds light on their awkward in-between dynamics. Her tumultuous divorce and controversial new relationship gave me the perspective I yearned to hear.
Looking out the airplane window, I felt deeply connected to lyrics that, to me, encapsulate the complex dating experience at the 5Cs. Navigating romance at the 5Cs feels impossible, but “Eternal Sunshine” provides some wisdom.
In the album’s first track, “Intro (end of the world),” Grande immediately poses the question: “How can I tell if I’m in the right relationship?” Grande begins her work by outlining the same anxiety that has a chokehold on the 5C dating scene — and then provides the consensus answer for how to go about it: “I don’t know.”
Gen Z dating is undeniably messy. Stemming from an overarching fear of commitment, many Gen Z daters list apprehension about rejection and being perceived as cringeworthy as their primary worries.
Sharing in our struggle, Grande shamelessly sings, “Wonder if he’s judging me like I am right now.” Any sort of romantic situation requires a certain level of vulnerability that can feel terrifying, leading many to spiral into self-consciousness. It comforts me immensely to know Grande shares the same overthinking tendencies as I do.
Sure, there are quite a few “successful” relationships at the 5Cs, but many students find comfort instead in the liminal space of a situationship or a hookup. With 5C students’ daily grind, these gray areas may seem more manageable in comparison to a full-time relationship.
But are they really?
Although gray areas can fulfill sexual needs, they are not sustainable. Inevitably, one party will develop stronger feelings than their counterpart and try to conceal them — and without the comfort of open communication, this repression of genuine feelings creates a buildup of emotional turmoil.
Without clear-cut boundaries or labels, situationships often lead people to compromise their self-respect. Situationships can cause a person to blindly lower their standards.
Grande is clued into this and encourages her listeners to prioritize themselves: “Won’t abandon me again for you and I.”
She establishes a catchy affirmation through this lyric that 5C students can use to get themselves out of toxic gray spaces.
Claremont is a small place, so it is impossible to avoid past romances. Many can relate to the unpleasant shock of seeing a past fling unexpectedly in a dining hall. Do you say “hi” or act as if you have never met?
Grande answers: “We can’t be friends / but I’d like to just pretend.”
Navigating the aftermath of a relationship or situationship can be awkward, especially in the constricting microcosm of Claremont. Grande states what many people think is right after a romantic situation ends, but emphasizes the human desire to hold on.
In the narrow confines of Claremont, it’s nice to pretend that past situationships and relationships can be friendly — but displeasure cannot be avoided at our small liberal arts colleges.
Things get especially hard when (maybe) you were the one in the wrong. If all of our previous romantic connections at the 5Cs wronged us horribly, it would be easier to ignore them in the common spaces where everyone overlaps.
Grande gets us. “Wish there was worse to you / I wish you were worse to me / Yeah / I wish I hated you.”
Not all of Grande’s songs address the less desirable components of a relationship or situationship. In fact, the other half triumphantly celebrate the joy and exhilaration of connecting with someone new.
In “Eternal Sunshine,” Grande also evokes the strong grip that a new romantic prospect can have on us.
She describes the pleasantly all-consuming nature of a new relationship: “It’s like supernatural / this love’s possessing me / but I don’t mind at all.”
Grande connects with me here, too. Whether it is a labeled relationship or something of the in-between variety, romance at the 5Cs can be just as infatuating as she describes.
By the time my flight landed and I’d reached the end of the album, I felt rejuvenated.
The awkwardness of a non-committal-exclusive relationship (but don’t worry, we are not labeling it) is generally ignored. What “Eternal Sunshine” does more than anything is invite 5C students to confront the weirdness of Gen Z’s commitment phobia.
If you choose to listen, let the lyrics sink in. Think about your everyday experiences — the awkward, fun and supernatural parts of all relationships. You might find that queen of pop Ariana Grande resembles a student looking for romance at the 5Cs more closely than you’d expect.
Tess McHugh PO ’25 is from Denver, CO. She loves Barcelona, Spain, Sangria de Cava and Pedro Almódovar films.
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