We all have an image in mind of the “cringe couple”: The lovey-dovey, head-over-heels, picture-perfect pair that we love to hate, but kind of wish we were. I myself have had conversations with friends about being sick to our stomachs when we see someone swoon.
It is quite popular to hate on public displays of affection and couples we perceive as happy. PDA is cringe, and while we largely refuse to confront those engaged in it, we have disdain for it anyway. Some may say that PDA is too normalized, that it does not need defense, but as Gen Z retreats from love — and from the public sphere generally — we must recognize PDA’s role in our society. PDA can and should be a normal part of life. It is emblematic of love and ought to be celebrated. At its most basic form, PDA requires a level of bravery, vulnerability and attunement to one’s emotions that is scantily found elsewhere. As a generation, we must lead a concerted effort to reframe our cultural conceptions of PDA and rid ourselves of any stigmas against it.
The act of physically expressing your love for an individual — or individuals if you so please — combined with the comfort of allowing it to be seen by others, is somewhat radical. I am not saying that PDA is a substantive political act. I do believe, however, that the visible presentation of love is beneficial for our relationships with one another, and for broader society. Love has often worked as the bedrock of social movements seeking greater liberation. Queer and women’s liberation movements stick out as examples of the necessity of love — both expanded the framework of love to include those who had been excluded from previous definitions.
Objectors to PDA often bring up the “get a room” argument, boiling this issue down to a distinction between acceptable behavior in the private and public realm. With this point of view, actions involving romantic feelings should be relegated to the private, away from our collective perception.
Allow me to make clear that there are certain behaviors that necessitate privacy, mostly due to issues of consent. For example, nudity and sexual acts are acceptable in places where that is the expectation when one enters the space, but that ought not to be extended to public spaces where that consent does not exist. For my purposes, I am focused on the PDA that typically populates college campuses, general behaviors such as hand-holding, cuddling or pecking.
While it can be uncomfortable to witness PDA, and in some ways insulting for those of us who have no one to engage in PDA with, that does not mean PDA should be shunned or removed from daily life. We have a collective problem — not only of loneliness, but of an inability to celebrate the manifestation of real love upon exposure to it.
There is nothing in this world that is more important or essential to our humanity than love. As James Baldwin once put it: “Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” Participating in love already requires an enormous amount of compromise, and it is no wonder that something so powerful should carry a physical representation with it.
We seek to hold the hands and kiss the cheeks of our lovers because the feeling is so significant. We want to convey the love we feel and we want to feel that love reciprocated. This embodiment of love is the crux; without it, there is no vehicle toward the quest of growth that is loving someone.
PDA, as an embodiment of love, is something that should be shared. It is for that reason that I rise today in defense of PDA. When we see others engaged in this type of love, we become more open to it ourselves. It becomes merely another part of public life that we witness or participate in. In other words, seeing love represented can act as a medicine for our repulsion to love.
Gen Z must seriously relearn how to love. As many have documented, the loneliness epidemic is ravaging our generation and we are entrenched in Situationshipgate. When we remove or distance ourselves from love, we reduce ourselves as human beings. Through a more positive embrace of physical love, we can work toward a world in which Gen Z feels more comfortable navigating the challenging, depressing and at times hopeful and romantic landscape. While it may seem harmless — and in some ways funny — to dog on the kissy couple and do a gagging motion when we pass by two cuddly companions, it perpetuates a culture devoid of love.
So, the next time you feel so inclined to express your love, you should! It does not have to be romantic or limited to one romantic partner. Hold hands as you skip to class with your boyfriend or your best friend. Share a plate of pasta ala Lady and the Tramp. In doing so, you will find the true joy and connection that comes with PDA.
Alex Benach, PO ’28 is from Washington, D.C. and is someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.
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