OPINION: Beyond the campus bubble: Making long-distance relationships last

10 p.m. + 3 hours = 1 a.m. Too late. As I text my partner back home, I do the math in my head to figure out their time of day for what seems like the 400th time today. If I’m texting my best friend, it’s 10 + 9. She’ll be up, right? 7 a.m.? She can pick her phone up for me.

I text my partner, who is on the East Coast, as is nearly everyone I have ever known before coming to Claremont. The likelihood of a response is debatable; it is late Monday night here, let alone across the country.

It is moments like these where I am filled with doubt: did I choose a school too far? Am I missing too much of my brother’s life? How are my dogs doing? Should I be in a relationship when I cannot see them for 100-day periods?

Dismissing long-distance relationships (LDRs) outright overlooks what they can actually offer — deeper communication, emotional resilience and personal growth. The distance is tough, but I’ve found that it forced me to connect more intentionally on Pomona’s campus and has pushed me to build the kind of habits and trust that has made my relationship stronger in the long run.

Various studies show that LDRs are not inherently weaker than geographically close relationships; they often cultivate higher levels of trust, communication and emotional intimacy. Because LDRs require partners to be intentional about their interactions, they promote deeper conversations, conflict resolution skills and mutual respect.

Rather than relying on proximity to sustain a relationship, couples in LDRs develop habits that are foundational to long-term success.

Additionally, LDRs encourage personal growth. College is a time of self-discovery, and maintaining an LDR can reinforce the importance of balancing personal, academic and social life.

The idea that a romantic relationship must be all-consuming can be unhealthy; learning to set boundaries and maintain individuality within a relationship is a crucial life skill. When LDR partners prioritize their individual development while still nurturing their connection, they create a healthier, more sustainable dynamic.

An unexpected benefit of being in a long-distance relationship during college is the freedom it offers to form deeper connections within the campus community. Without the constant pressure of a partner physically present, I’ve been able to invest time in building friendships and engaging more fully in my immediate environment.

I genuinely have never felt so connected to a group of friends as I do at this moment. Had I been focusing on my relationship, I doubt I would have built the friendships I have today.

There are still social sacrifices, no doubt — staying in one night to spend time on the phone, arguing over text while at dinner — but these sacrifices have been well worth it. They have helped me develop an equilibrium between my relationship and social life while allowing me to grow independently.

For students at the 7Cs, the question of a long-distance relationship is almost inevitable.

78% of engaged couples experience some form of long-distance before marriage. Whether it’s dating someone from another non-7C campus, Harvey-Mudd to Pomona (if you consider that long distance), studying abroad or staying connected with a partner from home — it is a reality that most of us will have to face.

While distance poses challenges, it’s also an opportunity to rethink what a relationship can offer during college. For me, being in an LDR has taught me to use my time intentionally, not just to stay connected with my partner, but to forge a stronger sense of independence and belonging on campus.

Using the loneliness from this distance pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and has allowed me to thrive independently while still having someone to depend on. By shifting our perspective and embracing the beauty of love that spans miles, we prove that love knows no boundaries.

Despite being nine hours apart, I have never considered ending my friendship with my best friend. I maintain a relationship with my parents 2,000 miles away. My brother is still my brother, even if I get a text from him on a bi-monthly basis. Yes, these relationships are inherently different, but the distance does not invalidate them. So why should distance spell doom for romantic relationships?

Ultimately, LDRs are not doomed to fail despite the prevailing narrative. With effort, communication and a willingness to embrace the challenges and benefits, students can successfully navigate long-distance relationships while still excelling in college — socially and academically.

Sarah Russo PO ’28 is a PPE major. She loves going to the gym with friends, listening to Tyler Childers and spending her free time in the Village.