“So what have you learned about American culture this time?” That is the question that my 78-year-old friend Ken posed to me during our monthly meet-up. Kenneth (Ken) Frank, a Harvey Mudd College graduate of 1968, is a resident at Pilgrim Place, a retirement community just a few blocks west of our campuses.
During a Napier Initiative class at Scripps College last year, we were lucky to have three elderly co-learners from Pilgrim Place join our “Philosophy of Feminism” course. Although Ken was not a student in the class, as a class we visited Pilgrim Place for lunch, where I first met him. I still remember the amount of care and attention that was extended to me during that meal. All of the Pilgrim Place residents that surrounded my table were extraordinarily accomplished academics, artists and activists, yet they took so much interest in me and my story.
Ken and I did not speak to each other much during the lunch, but towards the conclusion of the meal we bonded over our shared interest in culture. Ken lived and taught mathematics in Turkey for 30 years, and he excitedly asked me many questions about my own upbringing in Russia. We ended up being the last two people to leave the dining room, and we have not stopped talking since.
Before I met Ken, I had never had a friend from a different generation, let alone someone who was 50 years older than me. Like many students at the Claremont Colleges, I had gone straight from the high school bubble into the college bubble, with minimal opportunity for interaction with people in the “real world.” Therefore, almost all of my social interactions were limited to people who are the same age as me, or at least the same generation.
I had never expected how much I would cherish an intergenerational friendship. Ken and I talk about everything: family, friends, school, aspirations, religion, politics, art and we both learn from each other. My conversations with Ken are nothing like the ones with my friends in college. He is the person that I get excited to share a new cultural discovery with, or bounce off ideas about my Senior Thesis, or tell him about my hopes and dreams for the future. Ken listens to me patiently, he makes me feel optimistic about the life ahead of me.
I share my friendship story with Ken in an attempt to convince you that you should make friends across generational boundaries. Especially in college, where we are solely surrounded by other students in social settings, it is exciting to mix things up and have a diverse social network. And Claremont is the perfect place to do it, because of Pilgrim Place’s close proximity to our campuses.
Many of the Pilgrim Place residents are Claremont College graduates, and one of my favorite questions to ask Ken is about how campus culture has changed since his college years. As Claremont students, we have this connection to Pilgrim Place residents, and it is about time we started to take advantage of it.
We are in luck, because next weekend (Nov. 8-9, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.), Pilgrim Place will be hosting their 76th Festival on their campus. The Festival is free admission and features over 40 booths selling crafts produced by the residents of Pilgrim Place, such as pottery, weaving, jewelry, silverware, stained glass, wood working, quilts and art. Apart from the crafts on sale, the festival features kid-friendly activities and food. It is the perfect opportunity for us to meet and befriend some Pilgrim Place residents.
All of the proceeds from the Festival will go to the Resident Health and Support Program, according to Joyce Yarborough, the former vice president of advancement at Pilgrim Place.
“[The fund] is for residents who have had perhaps very modest incomes, or who have had expensive medical procedures or unexpected expenses,” Yarborough said.
“For all residents, I think the idea that they’re contributing to a fund that will help residents who run out of money is a big motivating factor.”
Frank said the resident community is very supportive of each other.
“For all residents, I think the idea that they’re contributing to a fund that will help residents who run out of money is a big motivating factor,” she said. “From what I hear, this is not a common thing in a lot of retirement communities, to have residents club together like that to create such a fund.”
Apart from providing a fun day of communal bonding, the Festival’s broader vision is to support its most vulnerable members.
Yarborough described how the Festival supports Pilgrim Place’s mission.
“One, you will never be asked to leave if you can’t afford to pay rent,” Yarborough said. “And two, we want everyone to live with dignity. Those are two important parts of the ethos of Pilgrim Place — the caring for one another and the willingness to support a neighbor, that’s pretty unique.”
Frank emphasized the importance of the Festival to Pilgrim Place residents.
“We call ourselves a standalone community,” she said. “That’s how people want it to be able to continue, but the costs of things keep going up so dramatically. That’s why we work hard at the Festival.”
This is the first year that the Pilgrim Place Festival is back in full swing after a pause during the pandemic and a scaled down pilot test last year, so let’s show our support.
As members of the Claremont community, we should feel compelled to support our neighbors, especially those who are going through a difficult time. So come to the Festival — even if you do not purchase anything, a friendly smile, a polite “hello” or a brief conversation can raise spirits. Who knows, maybe you will even find your own Ken.
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