In “Holding a grudge is a sign of maturity” (October 1, 2026), Elena Gutierrez makes a fair point: students should not feel pressured to hide their hurt or forgive someone who has made no effort to repair a relationship. I also appreciate her clarification that she is defending boundaries rather than unnecessary resentment.
However, I disagree with the assumption that greeting someone politely while still feeling hurt is necessarily dishonest or immature. A wave can simply communicate a willingness to share space peacefully. It does not have to mean that trust has been restored or past behavior was acceptable.
Consider two students assigned to the same group project after their friendship ends. One can answer questions respectfully, finish their work, and decline invitations to socialize. These actions are consistent: cooperation supports the class assignment, while distance protects a personal boundary. Neither student needs to pretend that the friendship has recovered.
This distinction matters because college communities bring together people who cannot always choose their classmates, coworkers, or roommates. If everyday courtesy is treated as proof of forgiveness, students may feel pressure to display anger just to show that the harm was serious. That creates another social expectation about how hurt people should behave.
Gutierrez is right to call for honest interactions and meaningful apologies. Those goals would be strengthened by allowing people to decide what respectful distance looks like. Students should communicate boundaries clearly when safe and appropriate, and others should respect those boundaries without demanding either warm friendliness or visible hostility. A campus community can make room for accountability and basic courtesy at the same time.
Sincerely,
Dustin Tran
San Jose, California