Years ago, I was hooking up with my then-boyfriend, and things were getting pretty steamy. Then, he slid his hand in between my legs, and I was completely jarred by what I
felt. His hand was all slippery, like he had just stuck it in an oil slick.
body went rigid, and I immediately jerked away from his touch.
“Hey, what’s on your
My wavering tone must have belied what I thought was an uber-cool
demeanor, because he replied, “Calm down, it’s just some lube.”
My knee-jerk reaction
was one of confusion and insecurity; I wondered why he thought it was
necessary. I was having fun, and I was wet—or, at least, I had thought I was. What if I
wasn’t wet enough for him? Then again, I was a newcomer to the sexual game, and
he was a weathered veteran, so I pushed those doubts out of my mind and
continued with trepidation.
With zero friction between us, everything
whooshed, zinged and popped more than it had ever before. And before was pretty
damn good to begin with. I got so caught up with everything in the moment that
I broke a lamp. This boyfriend is long gone, but I’m still indebted to him to this day for introducing me to
quite possibly the most underrated sexual aid on the market.
seem to be many myths circulating the campuses regarding the use of lube, which
has led to most sexual partners thinking that they don’t need it if no anal
play is involved. I suffered from the same misapprehension.
The truth is, lube
is one of God’s many gifts to the world, just like free samples at Costco and
Cara Delevingne. It’s true that lubricant is a must-have if you’re going to try
anything anal, but at its most basic level, it’s simply a means by which to
reduce friction. This actually makes sex safer, especially if you’re trying to
Lube used with a condom prevents breakage, and for partners who
opt out of condoms, it prevents injuries and the ripping of genital tissue. Lube can
(and should, in this columnist’s opinion) be used for activities other than
penetrative sex, too. It’s great for oral sex, and improves the experience if
your mouth dries out—there are even some tasty flavored lubes for those who
want to mix things up.
Some individuals are under the
misconception that, because vulvas are self-lubricating, the only women that
need lube for sex suffer from vaginal dryness or some vague sexual dysfunction.
This is not true. If we are aware—and we all should be by now—that every body
is unique and beautiful, why can’t we all just accept that every vulva is as
Not everyone produces the same amount of lubrication, and not every
vulva produces enough for sex to be 100 percent comfortable, or at least as
pleasurable as it should be. This leads me to the concept of ‘needing’ lube.
How did this idea that some people need
extra help with sex get started? It implies that some individuals need
accommodations because some aspect of their physicality isn’t up to some
Isn’t it enough to want sex to be as easy, breezy and
enjoyable as it could be and not bring up this outdated—and downright false—idea
that some people are inadequate? Sex and bodies don’t work that way.
Lube doesn’t only make slightly uncomfortable
sex good, though; it makes good sex great, and great sex fucking unbelievable. From
the beginning, the difference it made in my sex life made my mind reel; now, lubricant is one of the most-utilized tools in my sexual arsenal. It can vastly
improve any experience with sex toys, oral sex, manual sex, you name it.
Give it a try. Experiment with your
partner(s) and find out what kind you like best, or if you like any at all. Find
out how it affects your body and your senses.
For me, I find that lubricant
sensitizes everything and prevents soreness afterward. The success of my
first experimentation even encouraged me to continue trying new things in bed,
which led to other equally incredible revelations.
I can’t emphasize it enough: Using lubricant isn’t indicative of any sexual dysfunction. That stigma is
outdated and, quite frankly, preventing many couples from trying something new
that just might improve their sexual experiences tenfold. Go forth, students of
Claremont, and lubricate freely and without abandon!